


Tender Offer

by jedusaur



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Blowjobs, M/M, personal finance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 03:13:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10630971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedusaur/pseuds/jedusaur
Summary: Derek pops his mouth off Stiles’ dick and says, “I opened a brokerage account.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anatsuno](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anatsuno/gifts).



> A tiny little followup to [Fuck-You Money](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1586984), in case anat needs a smile today.

Derek pops his mouth off Stiles’ dick and says, “I opened a brokerage account.”

Stiles is already in the middle of a disappointed groan over the interrupted blowjob when he registers the words, resulting in a spectacular hybrid groaning-squawking noise that culminates in choking on his own spit. “You _what?_ ” he yelps after his throat has recovered enough to function. “Why would you do that without talking to me? Is it an IRA?”

Derek tongues lazily at the underside of Stiles’ cock. “Straight brokerage. I opened it three months ago and bought five thousand dollars of stock in a high-growth BDC.”

“You didn’t.” Stiles stares down at him. “If you’re fucking with me, you better ‘fess the hell up right now.”

“Not fucking with you. And one of their major holdings started getting buzz right after that. My five thousand turned into almost seven thousand in three weeks.” Derek wraps his mouth around the head and sucks through Stiles’ moan.

“And then you got out, right?” Stiles is breathing hard. “Please tell me you’ve learned anything at all from four years of my rants. Please, Derek.”

“Couldn’t get out. Non-traded.” Derek dips down, getting Stiles’ whole cock wet, and pulls back again. “Another month, I was at eighty-four hundred.”

“Oh, fuck.” Stiles grabs the back of Derek’s neck and pushes him back down onto his cock. “Yeah, fucking take it. Where’s it at now?”

Derek mumbles incoherently through his mouthful. Reluctantly, Stiles lets him back up, and he repeats, “Sank like a rock yesterday.”

Stiles throws his arm over his face. “I knew it. Shit. Shit, why would you _do_ that?” He peeks out at Derek. “You’re smiling. Why are you smiling?”

“Quarterly tender offer last week. I jumped ship just in time.” Derek sucks him in again.

Stiles hauls him up by his hair. “What was your total return?” he demands.

“Eighty-three percent,” Derek concludes triumphantly, and gets his mouth back on Stiles just in time to swallow.

***

Stiles shoves at him weakly and says, “Don’t you dare do that again.”

“You came your brains out,” says Derek. 

“I won’t come my brains out next time when you don’t get unbelievably, colossally lucky,” Stiles grumps. “Seriously, promise me it won’t happen again or I’m gonna twitch out of my skin worrying about your financial future.”

Derek kisses him. “Fine, I promise. But you have to admit that risky investing turns you on.”

“It does not!”

Derek raises his eyebrows.

“It doesn’t,” Stiles insists. “It’s just... you were so into it. I’ve never seen you that interested in finance.”

“Mmhmm.” Derek rolls on top of him and breathes into his ear, “Three months. Eighty-three percent.”

Stiles shivers and then sighs. “Okay. It really fucking turned me on. But _don’t do it again._ ”

“I won’t.” Derek kisses him again. “Wouldn’t want to make you worry.”

“Shut up,” mumbles Stiles, and squeezes him tight.


End file.
